And so it goes ...

A friend emailed me this today and it struck such a chord ...I find myself contemplating a couple sentences in particular ...

Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

I don't know the answer - do you?

WORRY - PASS THE TORCH

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become
detached spectators in The lives of their children and shrug, "It's Their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few Stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do You stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making License plates. As if to read my mind , a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through This stage and then you can sit back, relax
and enjoy them." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't Worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own Life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smile and her occasional, "You look
pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered - I was worried."

I smiled a warm smile.

The torch had been passed.

Today, I came across a phrase worth contemplation ...

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Michelangelo, Leonardo DaVinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein and Mother Theresa." --H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Let Your Fingers do the Walking-Jogging-or Running

On Saturday evening, my friend Linda and I were racking our faulty middle-age brains to recall why we had laughed like loons a few weeks ago over something two radio announcers had talked about. Three days later, out of the blue, an unheard-of little nerve in my brain decided to wake up and fire the answer—for absolutely no reason at all. Somewhere in my jelly-gray matter, I stored the following useless, albeit, strange bit of trivia …

Researchers at London’s King College have discovered that the length of a woman’s ring finger can possibly shed light on whether or not she has athletic ability.

Ah-hah, at this moment, you’re looking at your fingers aren’t you?

The researchers measured 607 female twins aged 25 to 79 and then compared their results with the women’s lifetime athletic achievements. And you guessed it, the women with ring fingers longer than their index fingers (on the same hand, of course) were more athletically gifted. They were better at running-type sports such as tennis and soccer.

(Note: I am now looking at my fingers—again—and by all appearances and measurements, I should be playing center-court at Wimbledon instead of typing something hardly anyone will read.)

So listen up you parents who think your daughters are going to grow up and change the world. Before you start applying for college loans, you might want to check out little Tiffany’s finger length. No doubt, being the competitive parents that you are, it will be longer, stronger and more athletically gifted than all the other little Ashley’s, Emily’s, Heather’s and Savannah’s that you know combined.

P.S. to the guys … A 2001 study of English soccer players found they also had larger ring fingers than index digits. (Ooh-la-la, we’re betting hunkster soccer star David Beckham has a very lo-o-o-o-o-o-ng ring finger) The study also cited that the ratio of ring-to-index finger could also reveal sexual traits and musical talents. And no, please don’t post any “finger” jokes – no matter how funny you think you are.

Critical Praise from .... Me : )

Harper Collins recently selected me to review one of their forthcoming titles - Will Storr vs. The Supernatural. I really enjoyed it--in a creepy sort of way--it's a great book for the Halloween season. If you'd like to read my review, hop on the Harper Collins Publisher's Website http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780061132193/Will_Storr_vs_The_Supernatural/index.aspx#readerreviewsand click on "view more" beneath the first review.

I wrote this story for Community Press in August 2006. Recently I received an email from Sam's mom--the family received a check for $1,000 to go toward the purchase of a therapy dog as a result of the publication of this article. (Names have been changed or not used to protect the privacy of those involved)

A Twist in the Tail

This is a story about a boy and his dog. But there's a big twist in the tale—and the tail—8 year-old Sam hasn't met his dog yet. But Sam’s parents, Carol and Tom, are doing all they can to acquaint the two as quickly as possible. You see, Sam is autistic and the dog the family needs won’t be just any mutt. He or she will most likely be a retriever who will come from the 4 Paws for Ability program based in Xenia, Ohio and he or she will help Sam’s life open up and get better in many ways.

“Honestly, we needed the dog a year ago, says Carol. “With Sam growing bigger and stronger every day, it’s getting harder for me to handle him and we want to stop some of his negative behaviors before they become engrained.”
It has been a rough eight years for Carol and Tom and their other two children, eleven year-old Max and six year-old Josey. Every room in their home has a lock. A six-foot high privacy fence with child resistant locks and a padlock on the gate surrounds the yard. Sam is the central focus of the family every minute of every day. Still he has managed to get away. Once he crawled inside a futon cover and went to sleep. Another time, he hid in a cabinet. It’s not that he wants to run away from the family—he just doesn’t realize that when they don’t know his whereabouts, he is lost in the world.

“Right now, it’s difficult for me to write a check or kiss my daughter’s skinned knee or really do anything with my other children because I always have one hand on Sam,” says Carol. "It is in situations like these that having an autism assistance dog would be so valuable."

The dogs at 4 Paws for Ability receive extensive training to track and care for their charges at all times. For example, Carol could tether Sam to his dog to keep him in one place. “That would help immensely in a place like the grocery store or at the park” says Leach. “I’ve seen a demonstration where a grown man took hold of a tether and tried to pull and the dog stayed in place.” Should Sam manage to get away, the dog tracks only his scent so he or she could help the family immediately start looking for their son. “That would bring a great deal of relief not only to me and Tom but to our other kids too,” she says.

Another important asset is the comfort and calm the dog can provide. For example, Sam recently had a meltdown in the middle of the shopping mall and a man stepped right over the child saying unkindly to Carol, "Can’t you take care of your child?” She was embarrassed and extremely upset. "I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been lectured and criticized. People just do not understand,” she says. Had she had an autism assistance dog with her, Carol could have given the dog a command to lay on Sam because deep pressure and holding will calm an autistic child.

Above all, service dogs are loyal, loving, and dedicated to their young owners. “I’m hoping the dog could be a “friend magnet” so that Sam can be around other kids,” Carol says. The family chose 4 Paws for Ability because the organization takes many dogs from area shelters and places them into the program. Their “Rover Rehab” program allows jailed inmates to train the dogs. Both the shelter dog and the prisoners get a second chance to do good.

“What I liked best about 4 Paws was that instead of being on a waiting list for 2 to 5 years, we can help fund-raise for the organization and get our dog quicker,” says Carol.The family applied for their dog in May 2006. They must raise $12,000 to receive the kind of dog Sam needs. Why the high cost? Because an austism assistance dog is a highly trained work animal, not a house pet and the amount needed reflects the cost of the specialized training and is typical for any service animal.

To learn more about 4 Paws for Ability, visit their Web site at http://www.4pawsforability.org.